Dumb criminals at work

[Rewind]

My fellow Americans, I hereby dedicate this thread to our nation's dumb criminals, who will unknowingly provide us with great amusement as we read about their dumb criminal activity. For starters, here is the tale of two women who decided to do some Christmas shoplifting -- and went to a store filled with police officers:

Women charged in ill-timed robbery at Target filled with cops
Detroit Free Press, Dec 21 2018 6:00 PM

Talk about terrible timing. Two women were caught stealing $1,900 worth of electronics from a Bloomfield Township Target on the same day the store was packed with police for a Shop With A Cop event.

Fifteen police officers from four departments were at the Target at 2400 Telegraph Wednesday night, helping 22 disadvantaged children pick out Christmas presents for their families. Keiana Wilson, 40, of Burton and Dana Johnson, 18, of Flint were also there. The women loaded a cart with two Apple watches, two iPads and a Nintendo gaming system, then walked past the registers without paying. They never made it to the parking lot.

The store's loss prevention officers apprehended them, then asked for police assistance. The police officers were only 20 feet away when the women tried to walk out of the store. Wilson and Johnson were arraigned in 48th District Court on retail fraud charges. They are due back in court January 3.

The children who participated in Shop With A Cop were able to spend in total about $5,000 on their gifts, thanks to donations from local businesses and community members.

https://www.freep.com/story/news/loc...ps/2389137002/

[Rewind]

This dummy may as well have hung a sign saying "Look what I stole!"

Man steals Christmas wreath, hangs it on his door
WFTV, Dec 19 2018 7:03 AM

A Florida man is accused of stealing a Christmas wreath off the front door of a home and hanging it outside his own home. Angel Romaguera, 55, of Hialeah is facing burglary and petit theft charges in the December 7 incident that was captured on a Ring front-door camera. Romaguera turned himself in Tuesday night after learning that police were searching for him. Investigators had spotted the wreath hanging outside his home, which is about four miles from the victim's house.

https://www.wftv.com/news/florida/po...door/891264597

[Rewind]

I call this an example of trading "golden arches" for "iron bars."

Florida man tried to pay for McDonald's with bag of weed
NBC News, Dec 18 2018 4:49 AM

Anthony Andrew Gallagher, 23, went through a McDonald's drive-thru in Port St. Lucie, Florida and tried to pay for his order with a bag of marijuana. The fast-food worker denied the trade and Gallagher drove off, only to return again a short time later. Police arrested him on charges of marijuana possession and driving under the influence.

Police were alerted to Gallagher's offer early Sunday morning and got a description of him from the worker. A suspect matching his description went through the drive-thru a little while later and police approached him. It's unclear if Gallagher again attempted to pay for his order with marijuana.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...ce-say-n949246

[Rewind]

What were the odds of this happening? This dummy, to use a line from a Clint Black song, had a good run of bad luck.

Escaped inmate flags a ride -- from a police officer
The Daily Independent, Dec 20 2018

An escaped inmate who attempted to hitchhike a ride Tuesday on US Highway 64 flagged down the wrong motorist — an officer of the law.

Jailer Mike Worthington said Allen Lewis, 31, of Grassy Creek, had completed his sentence in the Greenup County Detention Center on local charges and was being transferred by a Morgan County transport officer to the Rowan County Detention Center because he faces local charges there. Lewis complained that his handcuffs hurt and the officer stopped the vehicle to fix the inmate's cuffs at a location along the Industrial Parkway.

"When one of the cuffs was released, a struggle started, he got loose and fled on foot," Worthington said. Officers conducted extensive searches of nearby wooded areas. Lewis was able to make it all the way to Highway 64, where he started hitchiking. A motorist stopped. It was a Morehead State University campus police officer. He noticed the handcuffs hanging off one of Lewis' wrists. Lewis was taken back to jail and now faces an escape charge.

"He thought he was getting a ride -- and he did," Worthington said.

https://www.dailyindependent.com/new...1d722842b.html

[Rewind]

This story includes the surveillance video. Would this burglar have removed the Rudolph head if she had known she was on video? Probably. Criminals are dumb.

Burglary suspect tries to hide behind Rudolph costume
CBS Denver, Dec 23 2018 8:31 PM

A Christmas-style burglary has Fort Collins police asking for tips. A woman was seen on surveillance video wearing part of a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer costume during the crime. The costume covered her head and face until she took it off to get a better look at what she was doing. Investigators say she burglarized a business on Hickory Street and stole several items. Police ask anyone who knows more about the case or the suspect to call 970-221-6555 or Larimer County Crime Stoppers at 970-221-6868.

https://denver.cbslocal.com/2018/12/...lary-criminal/

[Rewind]

Driving an SUV at age 14: dumb.Throwing eggs at cars: stupid. Running a red light, hitting a truck and killing the driver: 1,000,000 (dumb + stupid)².

Teens in an SUV were throwing eggs at cars before a fatal crash. Now one faces a murder charge.

https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/01/02/us/...ash/index.html

[Rewind]

For safety, people should always be aware of their surroundings, especially when walking alone at night. Here is a dumb criminal who was not aware of his surroundings -- but he soon learned.

An alleged kidnapper followed a woman into a karate studio. It didn't go well.
USA TODAY, Jan 4 2019

A North Carolina man allegedly attempted to kidnap a woman but she led him somewhere he couldn't fight his way out of: a karate studio. August Williams was arrested after an instructor at Bushiken Karate Charlotte Dojo fended him off when he followed the woman into the school.

Police said Williams tried to force the woman into his car but she made it into the studio. Williams was charged with attempted kidnapping, assault and other offenses related to the incident.

Head instructor Randall Ephraim told CNN the woman came into the dojo. Soon after, the man entered. "I asked how I could assist him and he stated that he was there for the lady. She insisted she did not know him and he had tried to kidnap her," Ephraim said. Williams wouldn't leave at Ephraim's request and soon got physical. "I dealt with him accordingly," the karate master said.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...OVv4?ocid=AMZN

[Rewind]

I'm not sure if this man is a dumb criminal.......or just plain dumb.

Deputies arrest suspect who stripped to his underwear after causing robbery scare at Solana Beach bank
San Diego Union-Tribune, Jan 4 2019

An unarmed man walked into a Solana Beach Wells Fargo bank on Thursday morning and ordered everyone to the ground while announcing, "This is a robbery!" After directing employees to call law enforcement, the man kicked off his shoes and stripped to his underwear, then sat in a chair near the front door to await his arrest.

Three deputies entered the bank and confronted the 35-year-old man, who surrendered without resistance. He was arrested on suspicion of attempted robbery and was booked into the Vista jail, where he was being held in lieu of $100,000 bail.

Sheriff's Sergeant Brett Garrett declined to speculate about the suspect's motivations or discuss statements the man made but said it was possible he simply wanted to be arrested.

https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com...103-story.html

[Rewind]

This story is even better than the January 4 story of the woman who lured her potential kidnapper into a karate studio. This criminal perhaps isn't dumb but he was certainly unlucky:

Man tries to rob woman, finds out the hard way she's a UFC fighter

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ufc-fig...io-de-janeiro/

[Rewind]

I find it very interesting that one of the eight threads ro which MasterOfPuppets posted his scam smartphone ad is "Dumb criminals at work." The ad is disguised as a news story. Ignore it. Do not click on it. Here is another dumb criminal:

Alleged theft at police station goes as well as you'd expect
Newser, Jan 3 2019

The words "Gladstone Police" printed in large letters on a window next to a bicycle rack wasn't enough of a deterrent for an alleged thief, whom Oregon officers accuse of trying to steal a bike right from under their noses. A surveillance video shared Monday on Facebook — viewed more than 360,000 times — shows a man with bolt cutters fidgeting with a bike chained to the rack outside the doors of the Gladstone Police Department. An officer then emerges and confronts the masked suspect, pushing him against a wall as he looks ready to flee. Adam Valle, 26, is now facing charges of theft, criminal mischief and felony possession of weapons.

http://www.newser.com/story/269443/t...al-a-bike.html