Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. Atypical is offline
    04-21-2011, 11:02 AM #1

    Guys, Meet A "Friend Of Ours".

    Hey Julie

    How ya doin?

    Da boss wanted me to tank you for helpin us out wid dose two guys recently. He told me to tell ya dat you got some good hands. You really kep dose guys distracted. Boy, oh boy. Dey never saw it comin. When I heard, I said to Big Dump, avrei bisogno di garze. I laughed so hard.

    Sorry bout your dress getting ruined. I guess your shoes got messed, too. Listen, buy some nice dresses at Sammy’s place, and shoes too. Che misura ha di scarpe? We’ll take care of it wid Sammy. Whatever youse want.

    We’re goin to have a party at the big club in a few days. Ya know, because problems is gone. All the guys will be dere: One Ball, Lugey Man, Garlic Breath, Snot Nose, and Tits. Hey, bring lots of ya friends. Specially that tall brunette wid dat ass, the short blond with the figure that’s packed like a can of sardines. And tell ya friends, faccia come fossie a casa tua. Ascolta me. jus be sure dat dey know what the score is. Okay? We don wan no problems.

    Da food will be great. We got antipasto, lasagna, chicken cacciatore, eggplant parmigiana, baked clams, polenta marinara, linguine aglio e olio, (dat’s my favrit) steak pizzaioli, pepper-and-egg sandwiches, baccala Sicilian-style, giambotta, (Smelly Anthony’s recipe), and desserts like tiramisu, cannoli and spumoni. Buon appetito.

    The boss said, “dis party’s gonna go on forever”. A tavola non si invecchia.

    Hey, Julie, yeah, we remember how youse complained last time when we ran out of cannoli. So, dis time we got tree times as much. And we’ll put your name on a bunch we’ll keep in da kitchen jus for you. No way we’re gon disappoint our little Julie. Whatever youse want, babe!

    Cosa vuole da bere? We got some great Dago red and some Sicilian whites. Anni e bicchieri di vino non si contano mai.

    Horse Face told me to tell ya to be sure to bring your hands too. Heh heh. The guys will be lined up waitin to see ya. And wear dat dress wid the cut-out top and bottom. We ain’t seen dat for awhile. Goin to be a great time for sure.

    La famiglia tutto.

    Vinnie “Tire Iron’ Scamorza
    Last edited by Atypical; 04-21-2011 at 11:54 AM.

  2. SiriMonkey is offline
    04-22-2011, 10:03 PM #2
    The offer is real tempting Vinnie. New dress and shoes, all that great food and entertainment. I'm thinking I made other plans for Saturday night though. You did say Saturday didn't you? Oh I remember now! Gonna color my hair. I let the secret out Vinnie, now don't you go telling nobody! Silly,and you thought I was a natural redhead. Yep, I got Clairol Nice and Easy Red Siren to thank for this. The more I think about it you guys should be mighty thankful too. If those guys weren't so distracted by my red hair (Victoria Secret top probably helped too) they wouldn't have had that unfortunate accident. Which really was harsh Vinnie. No way I thought I'd be wiping that mess outa my hair for two days! I'm thinkin I'm owed a day at the salon for that one. See what you could do. Maybe I'll let them color my hair, and get my nails and toes done all at the same time. Have some red wine in a tall pretty glass. Be treated real nice for the whole day. Hey, I wonder if they got cannolis?

    Ya know what Vinnie, the more I'm thinkin about it, Saturday night at the club is sounding real good. New dress, shoes and Red Siren hair, dangle rhinestone earrings, I'm gonna look like a rock star!

    Just promise me one thing Vinnie. I want no part of no more surprises!


  3. Atypical is offline
    04-22-2011, 10:30 PM #3
    Hey babe. Nice to hear from you.

    Hah, Hah. Red hair and Victoria Secret - yep, that did it - and dem hands.

    Okay, okay, babe. You're right. Tell Sammy what you want and he'll take care of it with the spa. Get some nice dresses, too.

    Can't promise that we won't call on you again. The boss likes your style. Matter a fact, he may want to have you come over some time. We'll let you know. Be available.

    Look, we need to keep stuff right, ya know. Sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Don't forget dat.

    By the way, we know you aint't seein Gino anymore. We know a guy - nice guy - you'd like em.

    Interested? We'll set it up.

    And don't forget to bring dem broads I mentioned.

    Okay? We'll see you around. Let us know what you're doin. We like to keep track.

    Last edited by Atypical; 04-22-2011 at 10:41 PM.

  4. SiriMonkey is offline
    04-26-2011, 10:01 PM #4
    Want to thank you Vinnie for arranging all this but I'm a little bit upset right now. I was out shopping at the mall, ya know the one that just got built, minding my own business. Just trying on shoes, some real classy ones too, looked like real snake, kinda pricey but I thought, what the hell Sammy won't mind, he owes me. Isn't that right Vinnie? I'm thinkin the matching purse gonna go real nice, whatsa few hundred more dollars mean to Sammy. Nothin I say. Hey he wants me happy, ain't that right Vinnie! So anyways, gettin back to my story. Here I was looking at the dresses, by then I had my shoes and purses bagged up. I really couldn't decide on only one purse and one pair of shoes, so I bought two. I'm thinkin, what if I have to change shoes halfway through dancin, then what will I do? Have a purse that don't match! No way, Sammy would think that looked real bad. So anyways I hand my driver the bags, I got a limo, Vinnie, no way can I haul all those heavy bags around. Gotta protect these valuable hands of mine. You said so yourself Vinnie, remember? Back to my story, so here I am tryin on dresses, oh before I forget, I got a coat too. Ya know how chilly them Jersey nights get Vinnie, and with those little dresses I'm gettin, not a lot keepin me warm! Picked out something that'll knock your eyes out Vinnie. I can't remember the name of the fur, all I know is those snobby sales people were treating me with respect when I told em put all this on Sammys tab!! Anyways by this time I was beat, shopping is hard work! I was ready for my massage but I thought no, hang in there girl, can't leave without accessorizing. So I headed into the store with the girls name. Ya know the one Vinnie, where they filmed that movie. I started to tell the man, I want to look like Audrey, when two guys stepped in front of me and shouted, shouted at me Vinnie! I was so mortified I dropped the crown!! I just want you to know Vinnie, I ain't liking their attitude! Either you set them straight or I'm not going to the club Saturday or any night for that matter! I told you Vinnie right up front, no more surprises.

  5. Atypical is offline
    04-26-2011, 10:23 PM #5
    Okay, Jules, calm down.

    I don't know nuthin about it. But I'll look into it. Probly some guys who don't know who you're wit.

    Did you get everythin? Make that your last trip for now.

    Give us time to check. And don't say nuthin to nobody.

    Give us a description and tell us what dey said. Pass it on to Sammy.

    We'll take care of it.
    Last edited by Atypical; 03-13-2013 at 10:50 AM.

  6. Atypical is offline
    04-27-2011, 06:51 PM #6
    We have to talk, Julie. I saw Sammy.

    You ain’t gonna like what I’m bout to say

    Dose two guys, you mentioned. Dere with Sammy; part a his crew. He sent them along wit you to be sure tings worked out all right.

    Dey was watchin, ya know. So dey sees you go in some stores. You come out wit lots a packages. Den ya go in more stores and come out wit even more boxes. Den dey saw you fightin wit the driver of the stretch limo. Sayin sumthin like, well then get a bigger car – or two cars. Do sumthin, you said. Just don’t stand there. I’m important and have more things to get, you said. And da strangest part; you was on the sidewalk askin people goin by if dey liked da dress you was wearin. And the shoes. Like a model, an attractin a crowd. Youse was signin autographs, too, fer crissakes!

    One of the guys calls Sammy. Sammy tol me when he got the call he couldn’t believe what he was hearin. He asked the guys if dey was sure it was you. She’s a redhead, dey said. Probably Red Siren shade. A broad wit lot’s a attitude, too. Nice hands, though. He tol em to stop you.

    Sammy was pissed! Ya know, we appreciate what ya done for us. But dis was over da line. Da car, all dos packages. And hasslin the driver on da street. We don ever wan no visible problems wit citizens, unless we wan problems. Den we fix em. Know what I mean?

    So listen. Dis is what we’re gonna do. You go see Sammy. Tell him you’re sorry. Make peace. Den you’re gonna return dos tings. Sammy will let youse keep some, because we owe ya. But this ain’t gonna happen again. If we use you in the future, we’ll tell you what the deal is. Dat’s the way it’s gonna be. Okay?

    Da boss knows all dis stuff, too. He ain’t happy. When he ain’t happy, I get nervous.

    You’re makin me look bad, Julie. And I don’t like dat! Do dis soon wit Sammy. He expects you.

    And be at da club Saturday!


    Last edited by Atypical; 04-27-2011 at 07:01 PM.

  7. SiriMonkey is offline
    04-27-2011, 11:14 PM #7
    Now listen here Vinnie, I ain't bringing back nothin! I was told I could pick out a new dress, which I did. Three, but that's not the point. You said, and I'm quoting ya here Vinnie, "buy some new shoes too". Ya never said buy one pair of shoes, so how was I to know, huh Vinnie? And Mr. Smarty Pants, for your information I was holdin my purse when those poor guys had that unfortunate accident. I was picking pieces of Tony outa my purse for two days, I didn't like that one bit! So I bought two purses, for my pain and sufferin Vinnie. And I was really sufferin Vinnie, especially when those two goons of Sammy's grabbed my arms and yanked me outa that store. I barely had time to grab the bracelets before I was drug outa there! Good thing I was wearing the rings or they would
    still be sittin on the counter! And as far as that limo driver, you go tell Mr. High and Mighty, there ain't no lady that can carry all those bags and boxes by herself. I beg your pardon Vinnie but I treated him good! After I got my hair colored we drove through Taco Bell and Charles got lunch. Tell Sammy he owes me 10 bucks.

    You tell Sammy I said go choke on a olive!


    PS I just remembered Vinnie, I was wearing my very favorite coat when those two guys had that unfortunate accident. I was picking Benny outa my pocket. I didn' like that one bit Vinnie. I keep tellin ya, I don't like no surprises!!

  8. Atypical is offline
    04-28-2011, 09:30 AM #8
    Hey Rocco. It’s me, Vinnie.

    We got a problem wit that broad, Julie.

    We assed her to return some stuff. She cleaned out sum stores. Went way over da line. Sammy was pissed. Cause she did a job for us now she’s tellin us what she will and won’t do.

    We can’t let dis go. Send a couple guys a yours over and tell her what da deal is. Let her know that she aint going to get away wit dis. It's over!

    If she don’t stop dis crap we take it to the end. And she knows stuff so we can’t take no chances. Do whatever youse got to do. Da boss wants dis done. You got approval.

    Get back to me after.

  9. Atypical is offline
    05-01-2011, 06:42 PM #9
    Vinnie, it’s Rocco.

    We went to the, ah, shopper youse talked about. Didn’t go well. She said she wasn’t returnin nothin. Said Sammy owed her the stuff and 10 bucks more for a Mexican named Charles. Tol her I don’t know nuthin bout that!

    Started ravin bout olives an sumthin and said we should take her back to the store cause she forgot a crown. Broad was talkin stupid. Scared, I guess.

    Anyway, we decided to humor her, ya know, get her to go wit us. So we says, okay, let’s go get your crown. Then she says, “and some jewelry I had picked out. They’re holdin it for me"!

    So we go out and tol her to get in front so she can show us where to go. We drove toward the store and said we had to stop first to see Sammy to get some info from him. She looks at us an says, “yeah, let’s go see Sammy. I gotta get a coat too. Sammy can get a deal somewhere and get me one. Maybe three. Then, you can take me to get my hair done”.

    This skirt was not scared. Just wanted to start shoppin again. Unbelievable. We drive toward Sammy’s place and ask her when she was dere last. Never, she says. Now we know what to do.

    We hit the warehouse near the pier. Where’s Sammy’s place, she assed. It’s here, we tell her.

    Pull in. Tell her to come wit us to see Sammy. We go in and tell her to go in front toward the office. We clipped her dere.

    She goes down and lays dere. We tink she’s gone but one eye opens and she says, “does this mean I won’t be getting the jewelry”?

    We did what we had to do in the back. In the freezer. She coulda used coats. Small ones.
    Last edited by Atypical; 05-02-2011 at 03:40 PM.