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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #11
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    Gary's cell phone rang. He picked it up and his boss was on the other end, asking "Is everything okay at the office?" Gary replied, "Yes, it's been a very busy day so far. I haven't had a minute to rest, but everything is under control." The boss asked, "Can you do me a favor?" Gary said, "Of course. What is it?" The boss said, "Hurry up and take your shot. I'm in the foursome behind you."

  2. #12
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    One day when Saint Peter wanted to go to lunch, he put Saint Andrew in charge of the gates of heaven, telling him, "Don't let anyone in unless he can prove who he is."

    A few minutes later, a man appeared and said, "I am Ludwig von Beethoven." Saint Andrew asked, "Can you prove who you are?" Beethoven hummed the entire Fifth Symphony and Saint Andrew said, "Go on in." Then another man appeared and said, "I am Albert Einstein." Saint Andrew asked, "Can you prove who you are?" Einstein explained his theory of relativity and Saint Andrew said, "Go on in."

    Another man appeared and said, "I'm Donald Trump, okay? I was the President of the United States, okay?" Saint Andrew told him, "You'll have to prove who you are, just as Beethoven and Einstein did." Trump asked, "Who are Beethoven and Einstein?" Saint Andrew said, "Go on in."

  3. #13
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    In a sheriff's office in a small town in Texas, the sheriff hands his deputy a "Wanted" poster and tells him, "I want you to catch this man." The deputy reads the poster. It says, "Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants and brown paper boots." The deputy asks, "What is this man wanted for?" The sheriff says, "Rustling."

  4. #14
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    The telephone rang. "Hello, Domino's Pizza." "Yeah, one of your guys just delivered the pizza I ordered and it's nothing but bread. No cheese, no sauce and no toppings." "I'm terribly sorry, sir. I will find out who did this and he will be disciplined."

    Two minutes later, the telephone rang again. "Hello, Domino's pizza." "Yeah, it's me again. I'm sorry. I opened the box upside-down."

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