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Thread: A Horny Problem

  1. #1
    Atypical is offline

    A Horny Problem

    http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v...bHlDc&vq=large

  2. #2
    SiriMonkey is offline
    You had me at Horny. Thanks for the funny video Atyp.

    Julie

  3. #3
    Atypical is offline
    Spoken like the wench you are. Seems you haven't mended your ways.

    But beware, the sheriff's men are still watching - and waiting.

    The dungeon awaits. And your hideous one-eyed dog will not be allowed to accompany you.


    Dragon
    Loyal And Obedient Servant To The King
    Last edited by Atypical; 04-06-2011 at 06:55 PM.

  4. #4
    SiriMonkey is offline
    Quote Originally Posted by Atypical View Post
    Spoken like the wench you are. Seems you haven't mended your ways.

    But beware, the sheriff's men are still watching - and waiting.

    The dungeon awaits. And your hideous one-eyed dog will not be allowed to accompany you.
    Mend my ways. Not so much.
    What fun is there in that Atyp?

    I believe the dungeon you speak of is in foreclosure.
    The sheriff's men are busy boarding it up.

    Julie AKA Wench
    and her hideous dog.

  5. #5
    Atypical is offline
    The sheriff has been notified of your impudent comment.

    His men are not closing the facility – it is being remodeled – due to an expected influx of new detainees which may very well involve you. Your words may hasten the date.

    As to your wicked behavior, spies have informed me that some ‘dancing’ and drunkenness has been part of your current sins. As you know, there are laws that allow that activity only within prescribed places and only while fully attired. Word has it you were not thusly dressed, or, as has been whispered, you were without clothing at all.

    Does this mean that you are selling certain ‘prizes’ to the men of our citizenry? If so, and the King has ways of learning this, you and any cohorts will be severely punished. Any men you have favored thusly will also be prosecuted and will rue the day their ‘privates’ were so used.

    It is becoming clear to me, and, therefore to the King, that we have erred in not restricting your odious ways. Your abhorrent behavior, so disrespectful to the Crown, so repellent to the good people of our fair land continues to debauch our reputation. Our children must now be prevented from making your acquaintance and some feel that even your name must not be uttered in public. Your continued contribution to this state of affairs must stop.

    A new rack, branding irons and impaling devices are part of the dungeon’s changes. They will have your name invested on them – and will await your presence to commemorate their installation.

    Be warned! All the ducats in the Kingdom will not save you.


    Dragon
    Loyal And Obedient Servant To The King

  6. #6
    SiriMonkey is offline
    My Dear Dragon,

    I am literally speechless at your unfounded accusations of my supposed wicked behavior. Odious, abhorrent, repellent all strong words, to be bantered about the village. This is my reputation that is being sullied here! How can I ever face my elderly mother when shouts of Wench Gone Wild, follow me! Although I promised that moonlit night you whispered in my ear 'Between us, my dear Wench', I am forced now to reveal what you swore me to silence. It was YOU Dragon, Loyal and Obedient Servant To The King, YOU who lay with me. YOU who took great delight in my 'prize' And I have a little Dragon to prove it. (DNA test forthcoming) So perhaps before your cohorts proceed with the renovations, consideration of your exuberant participation in my prize should be taken into account.

    Julie Wench Dragon
    PS. I am open to a small, tasteful wedding, perhaps no more than 1,000 of our dearest friends. Oh and you may want to ask the king to officiate.
    Last edited by SiriMonkey; 04-10-2011 at 11:57 AM.

  7. #7
    Atypical is offline
    My Dearest Julie

    Ah…ah…a…let me take this occasion to tell you how much I have missed you since that night. I have obviously been under much strain; the kingdom has been unruly and demands much of my time. The King has need of my services.

    I admit that my memory of that interlude is, let me say, somewhat foggy. I beg to obtain your indulgence and acceptance of my apology to you and to a … a... baby Dragon. I trust you are not conspiring to fool me as that would have dire consequences. But forgive that speculation. I do believe you…at this time.

    Now that you have ‘refreshed’ my recollection of that exquisite and inspiring evening, I am in your debt and will talk no more such as been my wont recently. I also send my best to your elderly mother.

    I muse over the memory of our fever and wish it again. Perhaps a quiet visit at nightfall…

    I will ponder your suggestion of a celebration. Let that be at rest whilst I discharge my duties to the King, which do not slow.

    I must go and lie down now.


    Dragon
    Last edited by Atypical; 04-10-2011 at 09:48 PM.

  8. #8
    SiriMonkey is offline
    I am curious dear Dragon. Is there a time limit you have set for yourself to ponder my suggestion of a celebration? I am anxiously awaiting your consent to begin the planning. Surely, two days is enough time to mull over your options. Option one being, marry me and make me a a respectable woman. Not that I am not respectable now but as you so cruelly pointed out, the townspeople were whispering. OR the dreaded Option Two. Refuse to marry me. And if you are foolish enough to opt for the latter, that dungeon your buddies are in the process of remodeling? You might want to make sure the ambience is to your liking. Because after I am through meeting with the King, that dearest Dragon, will be your new abode. Perhaps I have failed to mention, King and I go way back. If you get my drift.

    Now. I REALLY hope we are on the same page. Shall I tell Mom (by the way, she says Howdy) to commence with the baking?

    Julie Wench-Dragon
    I think it's best hyphenated, don't you agree?
    Last edited by SiriMonkey; 04-13-2011 at 09:01 AM.

  9. #9
    Atypical is offline
    My Dear Woman

    You have now begun to offend me. I have responded to your reminder of our ‘glorious’ night with open warmth and respect for ‘our’ little Dragon. You are now hectoring and threatening with your venomous words with which, I, the townspeople and the King are quite familiar.

    You suggest marriage, asking for that which you profess to want in a most disagreeable manner. All the ducats in the Kingdom could not persuade me now to honor that request.

    You also say that you will go to the King and use your ‘past’ with him as a cudgel against me? How dare you threaten a Knight of the Realm. I daresay that your entreaties to the King will doubtless fail to impress. I have already seen to that!

    Work on the dungeon continues apace. It will be finished shortly. If your respect for me and my position does not change, even your elderly mother, your hideous dog and this hyphen of which you speak, will not be safe from my wrath. There will also not be an opportunity for baking; the rats will need to be eaten raw.

    As for the ‘alleged’ baby Dragon, of which I am now quite suspicious relative to my personal involvement and even to its existence; I will have one of my trusted men see this ‘product’ of our liaison to determine if it exists and if it has any semblance of my exalted ancestry. And lest you attempt to curry favor with this emissary be advised he is of the ‘fancy pantaloon’ persuasion and will be indifferent to your feminine wiles – such as they are now. I shudder to imagine.

    Dragon

  10. #10
    SiriMonkey is offline
    Dearest Dragon,

    I am hurt beyond words at your accusations! After the initial shock has worn off, the sobbing, wailing and whimpering ceased, I have picked myself up, dusted my low cut, flirty, form fitting frock off and will answer your insinuations with the dignity I know resides deep within me.

    No club was used that night to persuade you to come knocking on my door. No club was hanging over your head as you charmed your way into my bedroom. No club was used as you slipped away, leaving behind a reminder of our night together..our dear sweet little blue eyed dragon. Obviously the promises of child support were forgotten..no need to visit Ducats of the Court you proclaimed, I shall support my child! I have yet to receive a token. Fortunately there have been several Uncles, REAL men stepping up to that plate! Your child, nor I, shall not want with all the kindnesses they have shown us.

    Send your "fancy pantaloon" my way dearest Dragon. I shall have my hair stylist greet him at the door. Chip will be absolutely giddy in pointing out the resemblance. I am sure fancy pants will be returning with confirmation of your participation in our union.

    Speaking of unions, the King (TeddyBear as I affectionately call him) has requested that I relay a message to you. Something about a place far far away called Siberia. I was having trouble hearing him. His face was buried in the pillow, if you know what I mean.

    Now. This minor little tantrum of yours I will overlook Dragon. Do not resort to your out of control raging. It is not pretty.

    I'm torn between a sit down dinner and buffet style. Afternoon or evening ceremony. Do you have a preference?

    Julie
    Last edited by SiriMonkey; 04-19-2011 at 11:55 PM.

  11. Ad Fairy Senior Member
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