A Bit Of Political Humor
A Bit Of Political Humor
Satellite Standard Founder
"We're going to -- we'll be sending a person on the ground there pretty soon to help implement the malaria initiative, and that initiative will mean spreading nets and insecticides throughout the country so that we can see a reduction in death of young children that -- a death that we can cure." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 18, 2007
"You know, when you give a man more money in his pocket -- in this case, a woman more money in her pocket to expand a business, it -- they build new buildings. And when somebody builds a new building somebody has got to come and build the building. And when the building expanded it prevented additional opportunities for people to work." --George W. Bush, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007
"I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it." --George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Nov. 10, 2007
"I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be -- hold hands." --George W. Bush, on how he can contribute to the Middle East peace process, Washington, D.C., Jan. 4, 2008
"The decisions we make in Washington have a direct impact on the people in our country, obviously." --George W. Bush, New Albany, Ind., Nov. 13, 2007
All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone." --George W. Bush, San Diego, Calif., Oct. 25, 2007
"All of us in America want there to be fairness when it comes to justice." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007
"I heard somebody say, 'Where's (Nelson) Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas." --George W. Bush, on the former South African president, who is still very much alive, Washington, D.C., Sept. 20, 2007
"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2000
"We are fully committed to working with both sides to bring the level of terror down to an acceptable level for both." óGeorge W. Bush, after a meeting with congressional leaders, Washington, D.C., Oct. 2, 2001
"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens." óGeorge W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2002
"[A]s you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say." óGeorge W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003
"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life." --George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 21, 2004
"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome." --George W. Bush, defending Vice President Dick Cheney's pre-war assertion that the United States would be welcomed in Iraq as liberators, NBC Nightly News interview, Dec. 12, 2005
"The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done." --George W. Bush, Greeley, Colo., Nov. 4, 2006
"In the State of the Union a couple of years ago, I addressed the issue of steroids, and the reason I did so is because I understand the impact that professional athletes can have on our nation's youth. And I just urge our -- those in the public spotlight, particularly athletes, to understand that when they violate their bodies, they're sending a terrible signal to America's young." --George W. Bush, on the baseball steroids scandal, Dec. 14, 2007
"There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world." --George W. Bush, addressing U.S. troops at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, Jan. 12, 2008
Global Language Monitor used a computer algorithm to track President Bush's comments in the print and electronic media over the last year to develop a list of the top ten "Bushisms."
I'm the Decider.
I use The Google.
It was not always certain that the U.S. and America would have a close relationship.
I've got an ek-a-lec-tic reading list.
The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done.
Stay the course.
When the final history is written on Iraq, it will look just like a comma.
The Congress was right to renew the Terrorist Act.
I want to be a war president; no president wants to be a war president.
The fiscal year that ended on February the 30th.
There's a show on C-SPAN about presidential libraries. Here are what the draft plans for the George W. Bush Library now call for:
The Alberto Gonzales Room - Where you can't remember any of the exhibits.
The Hurricane Katrina Room - It's still under construction.
The Texas Air National Guard Room - Where you don't have to even show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room - Where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room - Where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room - Nobody has been able to find it.
The War in Iraq Room - After you complete your first tour, they can force you to go back for your second and third and fourth and fifth tours.
The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy an election, or, if no one cares, steal one.
The Men's Room - Where you could meet a Republican Senator (or two).
To be fair, the President has done some good things, and so the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.
When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.