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You had me at Horny. :D Thanks for the funny video Atyp.
Julie
Spoken like the wench you are. Seems you haven't mended your ways.
But beware, the sheriff's men are still watching - and waiting.
The dungeon awaits. And your hideous one-eyed dog will not be allowed to accompany you.
Dragon
Loyal And Obedient Servant To The King
The sheriff has been notified of your impudent comment.
His men are not closing the facility – it is being remodeled – due to an expected influx of new detainees which may very well involve you. Your words may hasten the date.
As to your wicked behavior, spies have informed me that some ‘dancing’ and drunkenness has been part of your current sins. As you know, there are laws that allow that activity only within prescribed places and only while fully attired. Word has it you were not thusly dressed, or, as has been whispered, you were without clothing at all.
Does this mean that you are selling certain ‘prizes’ to the men of our citizenry? If so, and the King has ways of learning this, you and any cohorts will be severely punished. Any men you have favored thusly will also be prosecuted and will rue the day their ‘privates’ were so used.
It is becoming clear to me, and, therefore to the King, that we have erred in not restricting your odious ways. Your abhorrent behavior, so disrespectful to the Crown, so repellent to the good people of our fair land continues to debauch our reputation. Our children must now be prevented from making your acquaintance and some feel that even your name must not be uttered in public. Your continued contribution to this state of affairs must stop.
A new rack, branding irons and impaling devices are part of the dungeon’s changes. They will have your name invested on them – and will await your presence to commemorate their installation.
Be warned! All the ducats in the Kingdom will not save you.
Dragon
Loyal And Obedient Servant To The King
My Dear Dragon,
I am literally speechless at your unfounded accusations of my supposed wicked behavior. Odious, abhorrent, repellent all strong words, to be bantered about the village. This is my reputation that is being sullied here! How can I ever face my elderly mother when shouts of Wench Gone Wild, follow me! Although I promised that moonlit night you whispered in my ear 'Between us, my dear Wench', I am forced now to reveal what you swore me to silence. It was YOU Dragon, Loyal and Obedient Servant To The King, YOU who lay with me. YOU who took great delight in my 'prize' And I have a little Dragon to prove it. (DNA test forthcoming) So perhaps before your cohorts proceed with the renovations, consideration of your exuberant participation in my prize should be taken into account.
Julie Wench Dragon
PS. I am open to a small, tasteful wedding, perhaps no more than 1,000 of our dearest friends. Oh and you may want to ask the king to officiate. :smilewinkgrin:
My Dearest Julie
Ah…ah…a…let me take this occasion to tell you how much I have missed you since that night. I have obviously been under much strain; the kingdom has been unruly and demands much of my time. The King has need of my services.
I admit that my memory of that interlude is, let me say, somewhat foggy. I beg to obtain your indulgence and acceptance of my apology to you and to a … a... baby Dragon. I trust you are not conspiring to fool me as that would have dire consequences. But forgive that speculation. I do believe you…at this time.
Now that you have ‘refreshed’ my recollection of that exquisite and inspiring evening, I am in your debt and will talk no more such as been my wont recently. I also send my best to your elderly mother.
I muse over the memory of our fever and wish it again. Perhaps a quiet visit at nightfall…
I will ponder your suggestion of a celebration. Let that be at rest whilst I discharge my duties to the King, which do not slow.
I must go and lie down now.
Dragon
I am curious dear Dragon. Is there a time limit you have set for yourself to ponder my suggestion of a celebration? I am anxiously awaiting your consent to begin the planning. Surely, two days is enough time to mull over your options. Option one being, marry me and make me a a respectable woman. Not that I am not respectable now but as you so cruelly pointed out, the townspeople were whispering. OR the dreaded Option Two. Refuse to marry me. And if you are foolish enough to opt for the latter, that dungeon your buddies are in the process of remodeling? You might want to make sure the ambience is to your liking. Because after I am through meeting with the King, that dearest Dragon, will be your new abode. Perhaps I have failed to mention, King and I go way back. If you get my drift.
Now. I REALLY hope we are on the same page. :) Shall I tell Mom (by the way, she says Howdy) to commence with the baking?
Julie Wench-Dragon
I think it's best hyphenated, don't you agree?
My Dear Woman
You have now begun to offend me. I have responded to your reminder of our ‘glorious’ night with open warmth and respect for ‘our’ little Dragon. You are now hectoring and threatening with your venomous words with which, I, the townspeople and the King are quite familiar.
You suggest marriage, asking for that which you profess to want in a most disagreeable manner. All the ducats in the Kingdom could not persuade me now to honor that request.
You also say that you will go to the King and use your ‘past’ with him as a cudgel against me? How dare you threaten a Knight of the Realm. I daresay that your entreaties to the King will doubtless fail to impress. I have already seen to that!
Work on the dungeon continues apace. It will be finished shortly. If your respect for me and my position does not change, even your elderly mother, your hideous dog and this hyphen of which you speak, will not be safe from my wrath. There will also not be an opportunity for baking; the rats will need to be eaten raw.
As for the ‘alleged’ baby Dragon, of which I am now quite suspicious relative to my personal involvement and even to its existence; I will have one of my trusted men see this ‘product’ of our liaison to determine if it exists and if it has any semblance of my exalted ancestry. And lest you attempt to curry favor with this emissary be advised he is of the ‘fancy pantaloon’ persuasion and will be indifferent to your feminine wiles – such as they are now. I shudder to imagine.
Dragon
Dearest Dragon,
I am hurt beyond words at your accusations! After the initial shock has worn off, the sobbing, wailing and whimpering ceased, I have picked myself up, dusted my low cut, flirty, form fitting frock off and will answer your insinuations with the dignity I know resides deep within me.
No club was used that night to persuade you to come knocking on my door. No club was hanging over your head as you charmed your way into my bedroom. No club was used as you slipped away, leaving behind a reminder of our night together..our dear sweet little blue eyed dragon. Obviously the promises of child support were forgotten..no need to visit Ducats of the Court you proclaimed, I shall support my child! I have yet to receive a token. Fortunately there have been several Uncles, REAL men stepping up to that plate! Your child, nor I, shall not want with all the kindnesses they have shown us.
Send your "fancy pantaloon" my way dearest Dragon. I shall have my hair stylist greet him at the door. Chip will be absolutely giddy in pointing out the resemblance. I am sure fancy pants will be returning with confirmation of your participation in our union.
Speaking of unions, the King (TeddyBear as I affectionately call him) has requested that I relay a message to you. Something about a place far far away called Siberia. I was having trouble hearing him. His face was buried in the pillow, if you know what I mean. :)
Now. This minor little tantrum of yours I will overlook Dragon. Do not resort to your out of control raging. It is not pretty.
I'm torn between a sit down dinner and buffet style. Afternoon or evening ceremony. Do you have a preference?
Julie
Woman, this has gone far enough.
I have continually responded to each of your entreaties with an openness that defies description. You have, in each case, replied with deviousness, slander, and duplicity. And now, again, with more threats. You are the essence of evil.
I have respected in turn, though it has been difficult, your hideous mother and elderly dog. Nothing has worked.
Evidence abounds. No proof of this ‘baby Dragon’ exists; the King denies an awareness of a personal relationship with you – though he has a suspicious bulge in his attire when he speaks of the non-relationship with you.
You speak of these ‘uncles’. Who are those that would interfere with the mighty Dragon? They court great danger in that endeavor. And this ‘Chip’ whose name you bandy about – he shall rue the day that his swish involved itself with a member of one of my men.
There shall be no dinner at any hour, and, yes, any attempt at such will be buffeted by winds that will be summoned by prayer to Wotan, the great.
I have recently learned that I am to be sent to a land some distance from this one. I shall lead a great battle, and, perhaps not return. That is my duty, as my position in the King’s battalions dictates. If I return, I shall once again review this story of yours. It does not appear that there is much to review, however.
Until my return, I suggest your low cut, flirty, form fitting frock, be retired from use in our town as I understand from a source that your figure has 'blossomed'. Sight of your pulchritude in garments that do not hide the aforementioned avoirdupois would cause significant distress among the children, horses and the older citizens of our town. Your reputation already suffers.
See to it!
Dragon
Drag,
Perhaps you need to take a quick look at your assignment papers again. You might recall during our conversation yesterday I spoke of the Kings new orders for you if you refused to comply with my wishes for a ceremony. Now that you have refused repeatedly, even shouting to all "it will be a cold day in Hell" you have determined your own fate. Perhaps you also might recall Siberia was mentioned. The great battle you speak of, the one you are being sent to fight, will consist of you battling to keep your body parts from freezing and falling off.
Good luck.
I’ve learned a lesson and learned it well
Born of passion when darkness fell,
The memory was warm, then became unruly
Men, protect yourselves. Her name is Julie.
Dragon
(Off to fight the King's war)
I, the mighty Dragon, have returned from fighting a war for my King in a far-away land. I was victorious and led many men in battle.
There were other, less violent activities which did much to shorten the war. In one of the most successful, the men of the ‘Fancy Pantaloon’ (FP) battalion, under cover of darkness, infiltrated the enemy’s town and mingled with the men of the enemy army, most of whom were farmers. By morning, many of the enemy had reached their climax, whereby they knew that their seed had been spread, and their land had been furrowed. They had also learned that their uniforms were poorly designed, ill-fitting and the wrong color. Their interest in fighting further was destroyed.
The war may have continued many years more if this brilliant maneuver had not succeeded. Many of my men, when learning of this success and knowing it saved many lives, dropped to their knees to bestow their appreciation on the members of the FP.
I had also ordered the men of my crack battalion, the Dragonaires, to capture all appropriate females; those who were maidens and those that were of a special, rare variety, known as MILFs. These females, called ‘booty’, were to be taken with us to our land at war’s end. I had been planning a special arrangement which would earn many ducats for me.
The King had sent word he was going to award a large castle to me - if I lived. It was to be in payment for services I had rendered him lo these many years and had a number of rooms which could be put to good use in my plan.
The maidens and MILFs would be ensconced in these rooms. Discreet whispers would be passed in town signifying an opportunity to visit the castle when darkness abounds. There would, of course, be a small charge to enter these rooms. The rooms containing MILFs would be more expensive. I would be, in essence, known as a Person In MILF Possession, a title that suits and exalts me.
I would continue to be an advisor to the King and the constabulary. This is advantageous and will prevent any improper calls on my ‘booty’.
I have become comfortable with my activities. I live and dine well, and have come to see the beauty of the exotic MILFs, after being smitten with maidens for so long.
Thusly, I have toiled in my King’s service, served in war, and I now become one who prospers in a private endeavor.
There is nothing more I need – except a never-ending supply of ducats.
Well, perhaps, a maiden occasionally; or, two, maybe three MILFs, on a regular basis.
Life is good.
Dragon
I bet it is! :mad:
You are joking, right? I have been inconsolable since you were sent away! Much wailing, hand wringing and mourning has occurred. I pleaded with the King as he rose from my bed, 'Don't send my dear Dragon to war!' He refused. I was left weeping, in a crumpled heap, on my own, with our darling little dragon to support. I was barely able to function, entertaining the men of the village had become a chore, although a necessity. Your Friend of the Sovereign checks have been few and far between. We have suffered greatly Dragon!
And yet here you are, back from a war that has changed you, a Dragon I no longer recognize. Now you appear as a Hugh Hefner wannabe, in your castle, surrounding yourself with maidens and MILFs, flaunting your wanton endeaver.
I shall be contacting my attorney, with the papers you signed, promising to support me, our little dragon and provide shelter. So you might want to tell Miss April, Miss June and Miss August to start packing.
I WILL be moving in.
Ere, I am again shocked, that this vile wench Julie, one who has never hesitated to complain to me of her ‘difficult circumstances’, should once more foul the air in which she speaks!
Your lying ways have again not gone unnoticed. You now say that you pleaded with the King to prevent my departure. Does the land of ‘Siberia’, wherever it exists, sound a bell? You also now allegedly plead from bed with the King. I understand from my sources that the aforementioned avoirdupois of yours is even more dupois than before! Horses may have had to lift you by pulley from his bed if this is all true. Yet, I have never known the King to be a ‘chubby chaser’ or a lover of BBWs, although, myself, once…never mind. To be in the King’s bed, therefore, must be another lie of yours.
Your reference to entertaining the men of the village, then, to be rendered accurately, should be stated that it happens in groups of three due to your ability to ‘spread yourself around’.
You have obviously been hoisting many tankards of ale. Your reference to ‘huge heifers’ is bizarre. I have lived in this land many years and have never seen one cow any larger than another. Plainly, this is another delusion on your part. Another lie!
I have placed one of the MILFs, a Miss Lottabodi, in charge of matters at the castle when I am absent. She is under strict instruction not to allow my ‘students’ to leave without permission. And, because my business has grown since my return, I have sent my men to locate more maidens, and, especially MILFs. I am considering roadside signs and coupons. Perhaps, also, frequent visit parchments.
The men of the FP are still seeking evidence of the ‘alleged’ baby Dragon. Ugh! The lie repulses me. The FP will get to the bottom of things, as they always do. Therefore, it is not my intention to allow you to reside, in, or, anywhere near my castle. There are twenty-five rooms there but not one is large enough for you.
Do not contact me again. If there is a need for us to speak, I will send a MILF. It will be a good example for you as to what is desirable in a female.
And deny yourself those tankards you consume so freely. Otherwise, you will be seeing more barnyard animals that do not exist.
Dragon
Obviously YOUR eyes and brain have become clouded by an excess of alcohol Dragon! If that weren't so you would realize I am the same Wench you desired many months ago. The same wench who excited you as no other. The chubby vision you speak of exists only in your mind. After the birth of our little dragon I was once again shopping at Victorias Secret. Ask your FP battalion, for it is there we met up, exchanging gossip as well as styling tips. It was during one of our lunches I heard of your new business venture, Hot and Ready, which I first thought referred to hamburgers. Imagine my disdain as I learned what it really stood for! Flashing lights above the castle door proclaiming Buy One get One Free (BOGO) and Frequent John miles. What deep dark depths you have now sunk Dragon. Even our King shakes his head in disgust as he is leaving your castle.
Be it as it may, this is a community property state where half of your disgusting business will soon become mine. So continue to build our enterprise dear Dragon, for I shall become wealthy when it is divided.
Henceforth to be named Madame Julie's, The Quicker Picker-Upper. When you care enough to have the very best.
I, the Mighty Dragon, am, above all, fair. My men will attest.
I have spoken with others not involved in telling me of your past ‘weight problem’ to verify your account. They were men of the FP.
I am assured that the stories I was told were, ahem, somewhat exaggerated. Therefore, I offer my regrets.
However, your other comments regarding my business are untrue. There are no flashing lights as you say. They have not been invented yet. Moreover, your assertion that the King has visited is untrue, as far as I know. Miss Lottabodi would have mentioned it during our frequent ‘chats’. What you portray was, I’m sure, a ‘guest’ leaving after ‘role play’ night. We encourage our visitors to wear clothing suitable to their fantasy and to request anything they desire for our ‘talent’ to perform. Diapers excepted. Dungeons accepted.
I know nothing of a ‘community property’, whatever that is. Perhaps, that is another of your delusions similar to the ‘huge heifers’ you described in the past.
You have nothing to expect of my business. It is something that belongs to the masses; those that are partaking of the edible delights; those who benefit from the building of morale for the many; those who practice the growth and rigidity of persistence; and those who enjoy the involvement of a new type of citizen, the Swingers. All these I have facilitated – you have not consulted.
I have many friends yet in the constabulary who wish to curry favor with me. My MILFs have come to know many of them. The maidens have also handled some as well. As a result, they will not act on any dubious assertion that threatens.
It is dangerous to annoy me.
Dragon
Your frequent mention of this Secret of Victoria’s now intrigues me.
I have decided to investigate. As I wanted a thorough examination I considered using the FP, under the command of Major Bruce, but reconsidered as I am afraid they would be indifferent to her.
I then turned to the Randy Battalion (RB). They are men who are ready in seconds to do whatever is asked of them. I summoned Captain Sword and outlined my request.
Go into the land and locate this Victoria. Learn everything and report back. This they did with marvelous dispatch.
They found her and removed to a safe house. Captain Sword and his men began firmly and intimately probing her. After many hours she said, “continue to probe and I will let you know when I am ready to come forth with what you have been waiting for”. This was said more than once.
They learned many remarkable things. She has created clothing which is worn under the drab, plain, but functional common attire. Most are brief and almost non-existent in some areas of the body. Its purpose is to enhance. It is a kind of magical underclothing. This is similar to the Mormons, except they have not been invented yet. Many of the females of the kingdom use this clothing and the line has become famous. As a result, another exotic, rare female has become known to me, ‘the GILFs”. It seems that their beauty is also enhanced in this way.
I am advising you of this information because I have an idea which may be beneficial to both of us. Perhaps, twice or thrice each week at the castle, we could have a kind of show. It would be an exhibit of this clothing and would be worn by maidens, MILFs and GILFs. We could title the show, ‘The Quicker Picker-Upper’, as you suggested. It would, I’m sure, result in many tips from the men and increased activity in the rooms. You could MC, whatever that is.
Your BOGO and Frequent John credits could be utilized as well.
This could be a boon to us and the business. I would, of course, find a way to move many ducats your way.
Pray, notify me of your interest.
Dragon
Why dear Dragon, should I trust whatever words come from your mouth? I have been nothing but truthful with you from the very beginning. I have pleaded with you to recognize our little dragon as yours but you have continually shunned and badmouthed me. My once pristine reputation has been drug through the town mud. I can no longer walk the streets with my head held high without catcalls from the towns men. Many, many men have visited my abode testing my resolve. Weakened by the onslaught of attention and ducats, many times I have failed in turning them away. After all, who am I to deny those poor men the pleasure of my company?
And now you approach me with the idea of moving a few ducats my way for my business expertise. Surely you jest Dragon! My worth is many times more than the crumbs you are willing to part with. In order for this to be beneficial to me I demand an equal partnership. In case you are fuzzy as to the meaning of EQUAL, it is as follows in my dictionary, 'of the same quanity, value or status as another'. Got that Dragon? When you are ready to make me an EQUAL partner, we'll talk. I have prepared a small list of demands to be written in the contract. One of which involves my mother who is very eager to get started with the decorating. Only tasteful changes of course.